mister independent

(originally posted 1/27/08)

If you know me, you know I am the mother of 2 boys. Ashtyn is 3 1/2 and Maddox is 18 months old. Ashtyn is growing up fast and is getting to the age where he wants to do EVERYTHING himself. He loves to put shampoo in his own hair, brush his own teeth and has recently started dressing himself (or attempting to anyway!). He does very well with his pants but still has a hard time with shirts and socks, which is understandable, but he's getting the hang of it! Maddox on the other hand has absolutely no desire to do any of these things. He's still part baby (I like to think ALL baby) and so likes for mom to do these tasks for him. And when you really think about it, even if Maddox wanted to brush his own teeth and dress himself it probably wouldn't go too well. I could literally put him in his room and say "Maddox get dressed!" and walk out and even if I didn't come back for 3 hours he wouldn't be dressed. He simply doesn't possess the skills to open his drawers or reach into his closet, pull out clothes and put them on. At his age, even if I picked out his clothes and laid them in his room and put him in there he still wouldn't be able to put them on. In the years to come, though, he will learn everything he needs to know and before I know it he will be dressing himself and proudly boasting about it to mom and dad. 

Lesson Learned? I would never ever ask Maddox to dress himself and I definitely would never FORCE him to dress himself. It would be ridiculous of me. I know his limits, I know what he is capable of and dressing himself is not one of those things...yet. Just as I am with Maddox, the Lord is with us. He knows our strengths, He knows our weaknesses and He will never ask us to do something that we cannot do. Now, Maddox may "want" to dress himself and he may throw a fit if I try to help Him but I know how much to help him and when to let him go on his own. There may even come a time when I have to let him go at it alone until he asks for help...and even if I see he is struggling I must let him figure it out and struggle until he either gets it or until he asks for help. Sometimes if you feel like you are wallowing and flailing and you are all alone in your situation, God is just allowing you to figure it out...or He is just waiting for YOU TO ASK FOR HELP! What a novel concept! Why is it so hard for us to ask for help? Especially from the One who created us??? The bottom line is, God won't ask us to do something we can't do or are incapable of doing but when the time comes for us to learn that "thing" He will allow us to do so, even if it means struggle for us...but, remember, He is always right there willing and ready to help us through it! Oh...and we can have as many "tries" as we want.