long distance relationship

(originally posted 7/25/08)

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Well, even if you haven't, I'm sure you know someone who has. Long distance relationships start off great! You get all the benefits of a relationship without all the daily grind. You see each other on the weekends or once or twice a month and you maximize those moments and plan only the best of the best to share with one another. You want to make sure that you create the best memories possible until the next time you see each other. Unfortunately, though, long distance relationships generally do not last. In order for a relationship to last it has to progress and when you aren't putting in the day to day work it takes to build a relationship then it will eventually (and unfortunately) fade away.

Lesson Learned? This lesson goes 2 ways. One, is that we often treat our relationship with the Lord as a long distance relationship. We plan huge events with him and visit him for the fun times and create memories that we think are building something to last, but over time we find ourselves bored and moving on to other things. This is because we're not progressing into a more intimate and deeper relationship. We are only sharing the "fun" times. Yes, long distance relationships may be fun for a time (even with God) but just like marriage, in the long run you have to take the bad with the good. Yes, married couples may fight more than long distance relationship couples but they are also committed to one another. Whereas those who have surface relationships may never experience a lovers quarrel now and then they will also not stand the test of time. The second lesson I have learned about long distance relationships is best described with a personal experience. As you know, we have recently moved to Edmond. God moved us away from everything we have ever known in Ponca City. The ministry we grew up in, our families and the friends we have had since we were teenagers. It doesn't need to be said that this HAS NOT been easy. Since our move, I have been back to Ponca City nearly every single week for one thing or another. Whether it was a commitment I had made previous to moving or just a visit to family and friends we have driven back and forth quite a bit. I realized something recently though that was hard to swallow...I am having a long distance relationship with Ponca City. God called me to a new city and a new ministry and a new chapter in my life but I am still trying to plan those "fun" events with my old city. Now, that's not to say that I can't still hold onto old friendships and still visit them and stay in touch. But by not letting go I am missing whatever God has for me here, and in fact am only delaying the blessings God has for me in Edmond. I am avoiding my new life. You can apply this to your own life in many ways. Whether you have moved or are moving to a new town or whether you are getting a new job or just making a major change in your life...focus on the future. Don't think of this change as the death of the past but more the opportunity to embrace something new. Believe me, even as a type, I have not figured out how to do this yet but the beauty is I DON'T HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT!! I simply need to stay faithful to my God and stay faithful to my family and live the life God has laid out before me and everything will, thank heavens, fall into place.